A Horrible Christmas Wish
by shipatfirstsight
Summary: Kol just wanted a normal Christmas Eve. He didn't think the Goblin King would actually answer his wish for some peace and quiet. Christmas two-shot.


**So this was requested by my lovely sister, tattooed-she-wolf, for Christmas! Happy Holidays!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or The Labyrinth. Also, this is meant to be more humorous than anything, but I don't claim to have a good sense of humor so I might have failed in that department. *Admittedly non-canon Kol, but he's alive so…..***

**This is a two shot.**

**Rated: Strong T for some suggestive material and adult language**

You know those times when you were just so desperate for people to shut the hell up that you'd be willing to do just about anything? That's how Kol felt.

He was fine with his family celebrating Christmas for the first time in forever. He was fine with his brother's girlfriend being around all the time (he would never admit it, but he'd come to like the girl). He was fine with his brother acting like the past thousand years had never happened (that wasn't necessarily true; Kol was not above using the "hey remember when you daggered me card?" to get what he wanted). Hell, he was even fine with the not so subtle flirting between Klaus and Caroline. All those things were fine, bearable at least.

What he absolutely could not stand was being kept up all night on Christmas-fucking-Eve by the couple going at each other like… rabbits. Maybe were-rabbits. With an annoyingly high stamina.

Three hours. Three damnable hours of listening to them over and over and over and over, all panting and hoarse cries of each other's names….. if he ever heard either of their names again he might rip his own ears off.

He was desperate. He just wanted to go to sleep, hell, maybe even pretend that Santa was indeed coming.

Hahaha. Santa Klaus. The thought almost made him feel better, but then muffled groans and the sound of skin hitting skin returned.

"Uggg!" He yelled. What could he do? What would get them away from him (he was not leaving; this was his house as much as theirs and dammit he wanted one normal Christmas, was that too much to ask?) so that he could get some well deserved sleep?

There was a story… some woman had told him hundreds of years before. About a man who granted wishes….

"I wish the Goblin King would come take away my horny brother and his equally horny girlfriend!" Anddddd…nothing. The sounds continued and he determined that now might be a good time to brace himself and start snapping some necks…. they'd forgive him when they saw the present he'd gotten them, right? when the sounds cut off.

Well, that made him shoot up in bed. Maybe they'd just finally, mercifully tired each other out? Goblin King's weren't real, were they?

He debated with himself for a moment, before finally deciding that it would be best to see if Klaus and Caroline were still in bed. And if they were, maybe if he got rip-roaring drunk he'd be able to tune out their load lovemaking. And if they weren't….he couldn't go there.

Kol walked down the hallway, stopping at his brother's door. He raised a hand to knock, but when no answer came, he pushed the door open. "Nik? Caroline?" No answer. But there were two lumps in the bed. Maybe they'd really, really tired each other out?

They'd kept him awake all night, it was only fair he wake them up, he reasoned. He reached down to shake one of the lumps… when the lumps both moved, becoming smaller and shimmying out from under the covers.

"Holy shit." He whispered, backing into a wall. Few things scared him but this, this was downright weird.

Lightning cracked outside and the window flew open.

S_hit. Shit. Shit. Nik's going to kill me. If Caroline doesn't kill me first. Shit._

And the next thing he knew some glittered man, whose whole attire screamed Look-at-me-I'm-stuck-in-the-eighties-and-also-I-really-like-glitter was standing before him.

"Shit."

The man smirked, and Kol almost rolled his eyes at how similar the move was to something Klaus would do. "Let me save you the trouble of whatever you're about to say. You wished away your own brother and his girlfriend- and I must say, I'm used to taking away one person but two? that's new- and they are now in my castle. Should you wish to retrieve them, you'll have to run my Labyrinth in thirteen hours, or they'll become one of us forever."

"Fuck."

* * *

Caroline was pissed. She'd been enjoying the Christmas present she'd given to Klaus- herself, wrapped up in some new lingerie- when something happened. Or someone.

If she ever saw Kol again she was going to rip his spine from his body. She and Klaus had landed- very, very naked- in some sort of throne room. She wasn't sure if that word should apply though because the room was filled with chickens. And little grubby beasts. Staring at her.

Klaus of course tried to cover her up, trying his best to scowl at any that dared look at her, but then they were looking at him and pointing and laughing.

"Why are they naked, Grub?"

"Don't know. Humans are weird."

Klaus was of course sputtering by this time, and she recognized that she was about to start ripping heads off. She laid a reassuring hand on his arm- she was mad too, but they could kill them after they got clothing and figured out how to get out of here- and put her head over his shoulder. "Excuse me, Grub was it? but could you please find us some clothes?"

The creatures all turned together, shooting her and Klaus confused looks.

"Are we allowed to give them clothes?"

"Kingy wouldn't like it."

"I'm going to get the pretty lady some clothes!" A particularly tiny… whatever they were shouted before scampering away, leaving the rest of the crowd to follow.

"Thank God for your good looks." Klaus said with a smile, turning his head back to place a kiss on her lips.

"Hey, I think not threatening their lives is what did the trick."

"My girlfriend, the diplomat."

She felt a thrill as she did every time he called her his girlfriend, and returned his smile amidst her own anger. "Someone in this relationship has to be."

They waited several more minutes before a horde of feet could be heard in the hallway once more. The door was flung open, but it wasn't the tiny creatures that the couple had been expecting. A woman stood before them, tall and proud, her long brown hair flowing to her waist. "Who the hell wishes away their family members on Christmas Eve?" The woman sighed, throwing clothing at their feet. "Here's some clothes, they might not fit but there's not a lot of people here who aren't goblins." The woman turned around, facing the door, and Klaus and Caroline quickly dressed.

Caroline almost let out a laugh when she saw how Klaus was dressed. A black shirt, open to reveal his chest, adorned the upper half of his body. But the pants- if they could be called that because honestly they were more like leggings- oh the pants. They left little to the imagination, showing every bit of Klaus' body and his ahem man parts. Leather boots completed the ensemble and okay, she had to admit that he did look sexy.

Maybe she would ask the woman if he could keep the outfit. Not to wear in public of course, but you know in private. She'd very much like to take the outfit off of him.

At least her outfit was normal; a red dress that hugged her curves, even if it showed off a bit too much of her chest.

The woman turned back to them when they indicated they were ready. "Ah, that's better. Sorry, Jareth has to take you no matter how you're dressed."

"Jareth?" Caroline asked with a frown.

"My husband." The woman affirmed. "Oh sorry, I'm Sarah. Jareth's my husband and he's the King of the Goblin City."

"And Lord of the Labyrinth and heir to the High Throne of the Underground." The woman- Sarah- rolled her eyes at the new arrival, a man dressed much like Klaus was currently. Caroline had to admit, only to herself of course, that the man- Jareth?- pulled the look off better than Klaus did.

"As I was saying before I was oh so rudely interrupted, someone wished you away."

"His brother, precious."

She was going to kill Kol. How dare he wish them away to- wherever the hell this was?

"Well, your brother has thirteen hours to solve the Labyrinth and rescue you or you'll have to stay here forever."

"I'm going to dagger him and never let him out ever again!"

"Ohhhh, I'm going to shove his fucking Christmas tree through his body!"

Klaus and Caroline shouted at the same time. A chortle drew their attention away from each other to the other couple. "I'm sorry," Sarah got out between laughs, "It's just that this is the funniest-" She cut off at the glares both Klaus and Caroline sent her. "I'm sorry."

Jareth broke the suddenly uneasy silence. "Well, since you're not children, which is who we usually get, I don't suppose we can just keep you in the throne room for the thirteen hours."

"Oh, she could help me decorate for the Christmas ball! I don't want the goblins helping me, and I need some help."

Caroline noticed the fond look Jareth sent his wife and a surge of jealousy went through her. Not to say that she didn't have a good-great even- relationship with Klaus but…. they'd just been sleeping together for ten years and then he'd asked her to be his girlfriend. She'd accepted it because when they'd started their affair so to speak, she hadn't been looking for a relationship either. She just… wanted to get him out of her system, and she'd thought if they slept together enough times she wouldn't want to anymore.

She had been wrong.

Now of course the problem was that she wanted more. Not marriage necessarily, but when they called each other boyfriend and girlfriend…. she's expected more wooing. Dates and flowers and romantic trips. And all they seemed to really do was sleep together still. She didn't just wanted to call him her boyfriend she wanted him to be her boyfriend in every sense of the word.

"Sure, I'll help." She found herself saying, pulling away from Klaus. She offered him a reassuring smile, but she didn't feel it.

One thing was for sure, whether or not they ever got out of this place- and they had better get out- she couldn't keep quiet about the things that were bothering her anymore.

* * *

"I hate this bloody place. I hate wishes. I hate fucking Goblin Kings!" Kol was not happy. He'd been walking for hours without end. At least he'd gotten into the Labyrinth, he supposed. It would have been much worse if he'd had to wander about outside the giant maze.

He'd tried scaling the walls- he was a vampire after all- but as soon as he dropped down, he was back in the outer ring once more.

"Breaking through the walls!" He shouted aloud when a new thought popped in his head. That could definitely work.

He punched through the wall in front of him, and before his eyes it started to fix itself. He quickly passed through the hole that he'd made, turning back to see the wall mend completely. "That was weird." He took a few steps to the next wall, intending on doing to it what he had done to the previous one, when the ground underneath his feet fell away.

"An oubliette? You've got to be kidding me."

* * *

Meanwhile, Caroline was quickly settling in and having quite a good time helping Sarah decorate the lavish ballroom. It looked like something out of a fairy tale- then again, it probably was. "So, how long have you and Jareth been married?"

"Oh, wow, it's been about thirty-five Aboveground years."

"You don't look a day over twenty!" Caroline said, surprised. She was almost positive that Sarah and Jareth weren't human, but she was also just as positive that they were not vampires.

"This is always hard to explain. Ummm, Jareth's a Fae, which means he's immortal. When I married him, a ceremony was performed so that I would share his long life."

A dreamy smile lit the blonde's face. "That's so romantic."

Sarah gave her an answering smile as she grabbed an ornament to hang on the tree before them. "And how long have you and Klaus been together?"

"Eleven years."

"You two aren't human either, are you?"

Caroline shot her a surprised look; the queen only shrugged in response. "No, we're not. Klaus and his brother- and the rest of his siblings who I don't now hate- are vampires. The first vampires. I was turned about twelve years ago."

"By Klaus?"

"No, no! I almost died in a car accident, and my old friend was worried about me…. long story short she got a vampire to heal me. Then I was killed by another vampire."

Sarah laid a comforting hand on her arm. "I'm sorry, Caroline."

"It's fine, but thank you. I was upset at first, you know? I had a human boyfriend and I was worried about hurting him, and all my friends abandoned me… or it felt like the did. My mom hated me for a while, and so did my dad. But, I learned to love myself. I became a better person as a vampire. And Klaus, he helped."

"But there's something else bothering you now?" Sarah prompted.

Caroline sighed, toying with an ornament to distract herself. "He spent so long pursuing me. I thought he wanted more from me than sex. But that's all we seem to do is have sex, and granted it's really great sex, but I want more. Not with someone else!" She hastened to add. "I want more with him. I thought he saw me differently from all the guys I dated in high school, and it just hasn't happened yet."

"Can I give you my opinion?" Sarah waited for Caroline to nod her affirmation before continuing. "That man looks at you as though his world begins and ends with you. Maybe he can't say it; Jareth didn't tell me he loved me for years because he was afraid that I would leave again. Just keep showing him that you're there. Some people take longer than others, and maybe he's waiting for you? Maybe he doesn't know what you want from you together, and he's waiting for a sign from you."

"But I'm waiting for a sign from him!"

The queen let out a laugh. "I was exactly the same. I was so sure that Jareth only wanted me for my body because he was more than willing to ignore me throughout the rest of the day. One day, I sought him out in the middle of the day, and from then on we had lunch together every day. He thought I only wanted him at night, that I didn't want him to seek me out at any other time. I know this sounds cheesy and stereotypical, but communication is so important."

"I just- what if he doesn't want more? I'd rather have what we have now than nothing at all."

"Talk to him. Trust me. You'll both end up being miserable otherwise."

Caroline knew Sarah was right; she'd felt that she should talk to Klaus for some time, but this firm instruction left no room for doubt any more.

"I love him."

Sarah's eyes softened and she placed the garland in her hand down before surprising Caroline by taking her in her arms for a tight hug. "It'll all work out. And if it doesn't, he's a fool for letting you go."

They got back to decorating after that, and Caroline had to admit that her heart felt lighter.

"Queen! Queen!" A little voice stopped the pair in their tracks. "King and hybrid-man trapped the runner in an oubliette and they won't let him out! They laughing!"

"Jareth!" Sarah shrieked, a stark contrast to how reserved she'd been before. She flew out of the room, Caroline hot on her heels.

"Klaus! I want to get out of here!" She said with a pout when they entered the throne room to find their men laughing over a crystal that showed Kol's angered- and panicked- face.

"Don't worry, love. Jareth here has promised to let us both go home, granted he gets to keep Kol instead."

"Klaus!"

"Jareth!"

Caroline and Sarah yelled at the same time, and then they crossed their arms simultaneously.

"What?" The men questioned together.

"You cannot leave your brother here! I can't believe you would even agree- well, actually I can believe it, I just can't believe that you think it's okay!"

"He wished us here!"

"He's your brother!"

"Jareth, you know what happened the last time you broke the rules!"

"I got you."

"That's besides the point. You shouldn't be pushing your luck."

A voice rang out from the crystal, stopping them all. "Alright look, if anyone's listening or anything… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wished my brother and his girlfriend away. I love them, I do. But I haven't had a Christmas, a real actual Christmas in a thousand years, and I was looking forward to it. I just wanted to be able to go to sleep. But I shouldn't have wished you away, no matter how annoying you were being."

Klaus for one was shocked speechless; Caroline knew for a fact that Kol had never apologized for anything ever.

Caroline on the other hand felt immensely guilty; she did have an unfortunate tendency to pounce on Klaus… and they weren't used to other people being in the house with them.

Jareth and Sarah only smiled, sharing a look. "The Labyrinth has been solved, with time to spare it would seem."

"Wait, wait, wait." Caroline interrupted. "I thought he had to solve the Labyrinth."

"The Labyrinth doesn't have to be solved, solved. Every person that wishes someone away has to learn something different, admit something they don't want to. I had to admit that life wasn't fair, that I loved my brother, and I had to recognize my own… abilities."

"Yes, Sarah is correct. And Kol's lesson is for him to share with you as he wills. But what my lovely wife failed to point out is that everyone involved learns a lesson; and I include myself in that. I'd like to think that the two of you learned a lesson in your short time here." He gave Klaus and Caroline a firm glare at that.

Caroline sighed. "I suppose I have. Although, I have to say that I'm going to miss the ball." She had just spent hours working on setting up the ballroom after all.

"Oh, Jareth, can't they come back for the ball tomorrow night?" Sarah said, giving him a look Caroline guessed her couldn't refuse.

The king sputtered for a moment, before sighing in defeat. "Alright, precious." With a twirl of his hand, he manifested a crystal ball before tossing it to Klaus. "If you shatter that before your feet, you and anyone else in the room will be transported here. The ball begins tomorrow at nine your time."

Caroline nodded, and Sarah gave her a reassuring smile.

"We'll see you tomorrow then?" The queen asked.

"Yes, we wouldn't miss it." Klaus answered.

And with a flick of Jareth's gloved hand, Klaus and Caroline were back in their bedroom.

* * *

"I hope everything works out for them." Sarah said as soon as the couple was gone.

"I'm sure it will, precious. They remind me of another couple." He replied with a teasing smirk down at her. "They're both too afraid of losing the other to voice their true feelings."

"Why, is the mighty Goblin King admitting that he's actually felt such a human emotion as fear?" Sarah teased back.

"Nonsense, Sarah-mine. How do you know I was talking about you and me?" He stopped what was about to be a sharp retort with his mouth, and Sarah relaxed against him, her worries for her new friend melting away.

* * *

Kol, decidedly, was never going to make another wish as long as he lived. In fact, he may never speak again.

Scratch that. Just no more wishes was fine.

He did not like Labyrinths. He did not like never ending mazes, or floors that fell from beneath him. He did not like feeling powerless, and he'd felt all those things as a consequence of his stupid wish.

It was not a mistake he intended to make twice, not now that he was safe and sound back in his room.

"KOL!" A voice roared.

Scratch the safe and sound part.

His door burst open to reveal his brother and Caroline. Kol couldn't stop the load chuckle that burst through his lips at seeing Klaus dressed much like the king had been.

Klaus tried to growl menacingly in reply. Kol chuckled louder. Then Caroline joined in, and Klaus' mask of anger gradually slipped away, and he too joined in with their merry laughter.

Everything was all well and good once more until Kol felt a hand smack his cheek. "If you ever- and I do mean Ever- do that to us again, you'll have a lot worse than a freaking maze to contend with!" Caroline spun on her heel after her outburst and flounced out of the room.

"Are you going to threaten me too?" Kol asked, anger stirring in his eyes.

"No. Caroline's spoke for both of us, and you'd do well to remember that if you hurt her, you will have me to answer to."

And then Kol was alone once more. He dropped, exhausted, to his bed, surprised to see that no time had passed in this world when so much time had seemed to pass in the maze. He would heed their warnings, he supposed, though he was itching to get retribution for the slap.

He supposed that maybe he deserved it.

* * *

Caroline changed into her own pajamas before climbing under the covers of their bed. The pair fell asleep quickly with barely a word exchanged between the two.

They were awoken- much, much too early in Caroline's opinion- by Kol's excited shouting. "Presents! Look at all the presents! How many do you suppose are for me?" And Rebekah's answering voice saying, "Shut the hell up Kol! You're lucky Stefan and I drove here this early in the first place, you don't need to push your luck by shouting!"

Klaus climbed out of bed, offering her his hand, which she gladly took. They walked hand in hand downstairs where a huge ten foot tree was set up and decorated- Caroline thought enviously of the tree that her and Sarah had decorated; that tree had been at least three times the size of theirs- and Kol was right. There were a lot of presents.

"So, did Santa Klaus pay us all a visit?" Stefan joked, ignoring Klaus' answering glower as the rest of the vampires in the room laughed. Including Elijah and Katherine.

"I bear no resemblance to a fat man in a red suit." Klaus replied with a glower, but his features softened when Caroline pushed him under the mistletoe to give him a kiss.

Kol had been right- all of the wished away couple's anger at him melted when they opened their gift from him. A private island, with the promise of everyone in the room to give them some much needed time by themselves.

Gifts were opened, coffee was had by all- except for the already energetic Kol- and they were happy. Mostly.

Issues didn't go away, no matter how happy Caroline was in that moment.


End file.
